Catering to the Fans

Sunday, March 14, 2004
Robert Henderson
MDBW Staff Writer

The Miami Dolphins in 2003 proved to be both disappointing and quite unentertaining. Unless of course, you, as a Dolphins fan, consider a depleted line, a battered Ricky, and another December collapse entertainment.

Subsequently, the off season has provided what could turn into, or maybe already has become a Blockbuster success.

Wasting no time, Wayne Huizenga jumped right into the middle of the plot and orchestrated what was almost a very successful twist. You know you're watching a good movie when you find yourself fooled (anyone who manages to convince you of something that actually isn't has to be good!).

Dan Marino is possibly the most popular figure in South Florida, and certainly the biggest sports hero. He was successfully a shiny distraction that made us look one way while Huizenga untied Dave Wannstedt's ropes, liberating him from the wrath of the average Dol-fan, while also freeing him from some major personnel responsibilities.

Now, here we sit, dumfounded, in a rage, and we've lost the shiny object! For goodness's sake, Marino ducked away from his "figure-head" responsibility and is now golfing. Meanwhile, Wayne sits in his office holding his left pinky to the corner of his mouth, laughing jubilantly (in that happy-evil sort of way) as we fans now realize that the only shiny object in sight is his sun-glossed cranium. [Muahahahaha!]

As we would say in the Bahamas, "We've been trick-éd!"

But wait! It isn't over. Rick Spielman, another from within the organization who is still here, has become number 2 and carries out Dr. Wayne's orders.

I suppose Dr. Wayne had so much fun in his first mirage that he just had to do it again.

The majority of Dolphins fans have been vehemently blasting the production and even the existence of Jay Fiedler since his appearance in 2000. Dave Wannstedt and Jay Fiedler were both under scrutiny at the end of the season, so since Wannstedt had been dealt with, Fiedler had to be next.

Enter A.J. Feeley for five years, exit 18 plus 3 million dollars, and Wayne's shiny head can take a rest because the gaze has shifted.

Jay Fiedler's mad, his agent is mad, he wants to be traded. Suddenly, he's sneaking through the back door as Wannstedt shields him from our view.

Insert a few more [Muahahahahaha!]'s from Dr. Wayne.

The Miami Herald and Fort Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel have been going crazy with stories, reports, and raging opinions. This off season has been so jam-packed with entertainment that the newspapers are giving the Dolphins' organization the attention it desperately needed.

Fans have not written this team off just yet. They are frustrated, but they are being held on the edge, and not knowing what exactly to think anymore. Eventually this confusion will die down and the season-ticket holders will renew their subscriptions because the suspense has become so deep. You don't put a good book down right before it reaches its climax.

The season will start and we will all still be Dol-fans. No matter what you say or are thinking now, you will inevitably be rooting for this team while emptying money out of your pocket in doing so.

Huizenga might have the shiny bald head like Dr. Evil, but he ain't an idiot. And it seems as if Spielman has a plan A, B, C...., and Z in his back pocket. This organization is sly, deceiving and downright evil... but they're clever and they've got you hooked.

Robert Henderson can be reached by e-mailing webmaster@miamidolphinsbahamas.com. Or you can talk about this story and more on the MDBW Forums message board!