"Paul doesn't Hack-It"

Monday, September 15, 2003
Robert Henderson
MDBW Staff Writer

What a game. I wore my Ricky Williams jersey proudly, as I walked through the parking lots, and partied at troop 16H's tailgating party. And believe me, I got my fair share of looks, and "Dolphins suck!"'s, but something told me that by the end of the game, those same fans would either be 10 miles gone, or have their heads hanging low. I was right.

The game started with Ricky Williams running the ball, as usual, and then a nice throw and catch from Fiedler to Derrius Thompson for a first down. Unfortunately we failed to get another, and were forced to punt. The Jet's field goal drive really scared me because Vinny didn't look too shabby, in fact, he looked pretty good. As you all know, on Miami's next drive, Fiedler, faked the hand off to Ricky, and bootlegged the other way for a 9 yard score. I went crazy, hands in the air, waving my "Go Dolphins" handkerchief, and shouting at the top of my lungs. The nice old men next to me finally told me that "You cannot be exuberant." "Why?" I asked. "Because we're sitting next to you, and when the bottles and beer start flying, we don't wanna get wet." So, I quieted down just a little bit.

On Miami's next two scoring drives, every time Ricky got the ball I heard, "get him, get him, oh no!" The Jets, and their fans are scared of Ricky. In fact, by the end of the game, when Curtis Martin was still failing to do anything, I think his longest run was like 7 yards or something near that, they were shouting, why can't we have someone like Ricky?

A lot of people left at Halftime, after all, it was 21-3, and Miami really should have scored at least 2 more times. That is the only concern I have. Were this not the Jets, or if Pennington had been playing, we could not have afforded to sit on it at halftime. Sure, our defense played great, and we moved the ball to take up time, but damn it Wannstedt, what the heck is it with the second half? Stop being such a wuss, and air it out!

By the second half a few fights had broken out, and the gentlemen next to and behind me told me that that is why I can't be exuberant, as if to confirm their wise rightness.

In case you've never been to a Jets' game, let me clue you in on a few things that go on. When the opposing team is introduced, after every player's name is called, the whole crowd yells "SUCKS!" For example, "And at running back, number 34, Ricky Williams,"

"SUCKS!"

And by the end of the game, people are chanting, "Paul doesn't Hack-It!"

Then, of course there's fireman Ed, who attracts all the cameras, gets projected on the big screen, and gets the whole crowd to chant "J-E-T-S, JETS, JETS, JETS" (I've got my own rendition of this that I plan to use on December 28th at Pro Player), as if to celebrate their recent first grade spelling test. People argue about everything, and anything because of course, they're all drunk. Two women near me were having a verbal cat fight across the section. "Marino sucks, b--ch!" "Don't even start with me girlfriend, you know Joe Namath is the man!" You know something is wrong when the men have to be the mediators.

Just to be random, I find it intriguing that the Jets play, 1. in New Jersey, and 2. at Giants Stadium. Hilarious!

Anyway, the day was absolutely awesome, however, I enjoy home games better. You know, it's more fun to be around your own people, and celebrate together. Actually, nothing topped the satisfaction of standing up, shooting both my arms into the air, and forming two L's with my 2 hands after Surtain sealed the deal.

Robert Henderson can be reached by e-mailing webmaster@miamidolphinsbahamas.com. Or you can talk about this story and more on the MDBW Forums message board!